Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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