All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
