A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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