I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
