So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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