I swear she didn't look like that last week.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
...so i touched it.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
