My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize