Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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