how do flat chested girls get laid?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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