After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
