no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That accounts for only three of the penises
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
