Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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