I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
