woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
