I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
sex in a hospital.. check
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
