mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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