i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
