To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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