Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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