I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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