She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
