Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
