I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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