You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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