so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
