WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
