Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
