My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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