ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
where am i from again
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
