the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
