My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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