Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So much Jack, so little girl.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
