I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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