You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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