; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
