hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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