if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
