Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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