when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
