what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize