i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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