im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
