I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
