Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
