Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize