Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
