She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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