I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
