I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
