i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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