dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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