So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
