Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
