Pappa wants mamma naked
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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