that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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