Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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